Quit or Stay? The Powerful Little Tool That Simplifies the Decision

podcast Aug 25, 2022

When a job is toxic and soul-sucking, quitting is a no-brainer, but what happens when the reasons to stay or go aren’t so obvious, and we’re unsure about the next step?

It’s hard to gain clarity on our next move until we critically evaluate the outcome, and sometimes it comes down to making a little list.

In this episode, I’m going to share a quick tool that will help you determine whether to quit your job or stay.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • Why we have to go a few layers deep in our evaluations
    Loss of income is usually at the top of the list of reasons why we choose to stay, but what if the income gap we fear is non-existent?

  • Why we don’t have to always think in multi-year stretches
    Could changing our perspective on timeframes make it easier to decide what to do?

  • The truth about the current job market
    Is the decision to quit way easier when there’s an abundance of worthy alternatives?

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Guilt and Shame: The Ugly Cousins Keeping You From Advocating for Yourself

podcast Aug 18, 2022

Guilt and shame aren’t emotions we typically associate with our negotiations, but these ugly cousins actually show up all over the place.

For starters, most of us feel guilty about asking for what we want, but that’s not the only way it manifests.

The other way these emotions creep in is more insidious but just as destructive.

When we realize we didn’t adequately advocate for ourselves in the past, we can spiral into guilt and shame very easily.

How do we overcome these emotions so we can get to a state that moves us forward?

In this episode, I talk about how guilt and shame hinder our success in a negotiation.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • How guilt and shame present themselves
    What do you do if you notice that you’re feeling guilt and shame during your negotiation?

  • The danger of spiraling into indulgent emotions
    Can guilt and shame make us blind to the places we should rightfully advocate for ourselves?

  • How to cut short the spiral of...
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Overworking is a Habit We Can Change: Getting Comfortable with Stillness with Dr. Kristi Angevine

podcast Aug 11, 2022

Anyone who has a tendency to overwork will tell you that it feels more like an innate way of functioning than a deeply-rooted but optional habit we can deconstruct and change.

Underneath our overworking habit and discomfort with doing less are long-held protective mechanisms that keep us in motion to our own detriment.

How do we uncover why we overwork, overcome our discomfort with stillness and install a healthier way of working into our default behavior?

In this episode, habits expert, coach and host of Habits on Purpose, Dr. Kristi Angevine returns to talk about the habit of overworking that’s highly prevalent in female physicians and the most self-compassionate way to overcome it.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • The most common reasons why people overwork
    What line of inquiry can we use to lay groundwork for examining all the unique, individual reasons we overwork?

  • How to avoid the backlash of a bad habit
    What is the most important part of the process we...
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Shared Success & Truth Telling: Two Necessary Ingredients for a Fruitful Negotiation

podcast Aug 04, 2022

Last week, I introduced a framework for facilitating successful conversation, and the power of Transparency, Relationship and Understanding.

Today, I’m delving into the two remaining and equally important pillars of this framework: shared success, and truth telling/testing assumptions.

How do we create an environment where both sides win?

Does making assumptions hamper a successful conversation?

In this episode, I conclude our two-part series on facilitating T.R.U.S.T.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • How to pivot from perfunctory to aspirational
    What is the difference between goals, expectations and aspirations?

  • Why assumptions hamper the outcome of our negotiations
    Telling the truth has a lot to do with testing our own assumptions. How do we determine if the stories we tell ourselves are unquestionable, and verifiable?

  • How to be honest without being negative
    How do we acknowledge places where improvement is necessary in our jobs?

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How to Facilitate Trust & Co-Creation in Any Negotiation

podcast Jul 28, 2022

Trust is a key ingredient in any successful negotiation.

It’s impossible to come to a mutually beneficial agreement if there isn’t at least a baseline offer, but what does it actually look like?

I recently learned about a trust facilitation process that turns a negotiation with two agendas into a path of co-creation.

In today’s episode, I’ll share how to actually put it in action.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • How to be transparent without showing your hand
    Most people don’t want to be transparent about what they really want at the start of the negotiation, but does this hesitance actually handicap us?

  • What co-creation looks like
    How do we minimize the gap between where we’re at and where the other side is at?

  • The path to shared success
    It’s one thing to understand why they’re looking for someone to fill a role, but how do we expand our understanding of their long-term vision?

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How to Go From Learned Helplessness to Learned Optimism

podcast Jul 21, 2022

When we’ve had our fair share of negative experiences or heard no too many times, we develop a “why try if it won’t work out” mindset.

In psychology, it’s called learned helplessness.

Learned helplessness pops up all over the place in medicine, and yes, even in our negotiations.

How does this mindset hamper our efforts to advocate for ourselves?

Why does it make us unnecessarily powerless?

In this episode, I’m going to talk about the cure for learned helplessness, and how a few mindset tweaks can change everything.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • Learned helplessness and self-fulfilling prophecies
    Do we fate ourselves to negative outcomes when we’re under the influence of this mindset?

  • Why learned helplessness removes all our power
    We all have the power to incite change in a situation or to at least control how we respond, but how do we access it?

  • How learned helplessness shows up
    If we’re getting stonewalled in a...
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Am I Asking For Too Much? The Trap of Feeling Unreasonable & How to Escape It

podcast Jul 14, 2022

When we have a high expectation goal in our negotiations, our gut instinct is to ask ourselves if we’re asking for too much, and self-doubt ensues to the point where we completely undervalue ourselves.

The problem is, this can sabotage us and keep us from a package that reflects the value we offer.

Most of us are actually more likely to underask than overask, and “too much” isn’t a one-size-fits-all.

How do you determine what “too much” looks like in your specific negotiation?

In this episode, I’m going to talk about something I get asked a lot - if we’re ever at risk of making an unreasonable ask.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • Why market data empowers us
    How do you make sure you aren't out of touch with reality?

  • The power of upping our risk tolerance
    Do we give up on the upside when we’re so focused on whether or not we’re being reasonable?

  • The real reason we’re afraid of making an unreasonable...
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Want to Negotiate More Effectively? Switch Out ‘Ask’ for ‘Offer’

podcast Jul 07, 2022

Going into a negotiation, it often feels like we’re asking for people to grant our wishes, but this word ‘ask’ itself can hold us back from fully advocating for ourselves.

It makes us feel greedy, or like we’re trying to get things we don’t deserve.

What if we subbed the word ‘ask’ with ‘offer’?

Could we negotiate for ourselves more effectively by simply switching the language we use?

In this episode, I’m going to share a simple brain hack that will remove a huge hurdle from your negotiation.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • The power of changing your negotiation approach
    How does the word ‘offer’ reframe the true value of the negotiation?

  • Why we struggle with the idea of asking
    Many of us are socialized not to ask for things because it makes us feel like we’re being a bother. How do we circumvent these well-trodden neuro-pathways to get what we want?

  • A simple mental exercise with a huge...
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How to Harness Fierce Compassion in the Face of What We Can’t Control

podcast Jun 30, 2022

When difficult things happen in the world that we have no control over, getting back up and moving forward is an uphill battle.

How do we equip ourselves to regain our power without ignoring our very real and relevant feelings?

Whether we’re facing disheartening news or a breakdown in a negotiation, there’s a way for us to navigate difficult circumstances without wearing ourselves down.

What is the least energy-depleting way to move ourselves forward?

In this episode, I talk about fierce compassion and why it matters right now.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • How to allow and acknowledge our emotions
    If we don’t like a circumstance, do we have to trick ourselves into feeling better about it?

  • How to be your own ferocious ally
    Is compassion the same as passivity?

  • Why we must be kind to ourselves, especially now
    How do we combat the inner critic that is so deeply ingrained in us as female physicians?

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Key Areas of Your Contract You Can’t Afford to Ignore [REPLAY]

podcast Jun 23, 2022

The contracts we end up signing are the culmination of our negotiation efforts and should be a reflection of the things that line up with our worth.

If we’re not aware of exactly what we’re signing on the front end, it’s easy to end up in a nightmarish situation on the back end.

What are the key components of our contract we need to get educated on before we even consider signing on the dotted line?

In this special replay episode, I share some of the things you need to know before you sign a contract.

Three Things You’ll Learn In This Episode 

  • One negotiable area we ignore on our contracts
    Where are some of the areas we have wiggle room on our contracts?

  • Why it’s important to know what we’re giving up
    Before we say yes to something by default, how do we get clear on the consequences of our decision?

  • Why we should pay more attention to outside interests
    How do we protect our inventions, and intellectual property outside our 9-5 roles?

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